“Twain…One of a Kind”‏

“The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven”. Mark Twain

Samuel Langhorne Clemens (November 30, 1835 – April 21, 1910), better known by his pen name Mark Twain, was an American author and humorist. He wrote The Adventures of Tom Sawyer (1876) and its sequel, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (1885)

Twain grew up in Hannibal, Missouri, which provided the setting for Huckleberry Finn and Tom Sawyer.

After an apprenticeship with a printer, he worked as a typesetter and contributed articles to the newspaper of his older brother Orion Clemens. He later became a riverboat pilot on the Mississippi River before heading west to join Orion in Nevada. He referred humorously to his singular lack of success at mining, turning to journalism for the Virginia City Territorial Enterprise.

In 1865, his humorous story, “The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County,” was published, based on a story he heard at Angels Hotel in Angels Camp, California, where he had spent some time as a miner.

“The secret of getting ahead is getting started”. Mark Twain

“Words are only painted fire; a look is the fire itself”. Mark Twain

His wit and satire, in prose and in speech, earned praise from critics and peers, and he was a friend to presidents, artists, industrialists, and European royalty.

Rock of Ages

“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter”. Mark Twain

“Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen”. Mark Twain

Toxic Twain

“Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times”. Mark Twain

“Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough”. Mark Twain

“It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt”. Mark Twain

“Humor is mankind’s greatest blessing”. Mark Twain

“Forbidden Evil”

“There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable”. Mark Twain

“The lack of money is the root of all evil”. Mark Twain

“Politician”

“We have the best government that money can buy”. Mark Twain

“Loyalty to the country always. Loyalty to the government when it deserves it”. Mark Twain

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect”. Mark Twain

“Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about”. Mark Twain

“It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare”. Mark Twain

During the Philippine-American War, Twain wrote a short pacifist story entitled The War Prayer, which makes the point that humanism and Christianity’s preaching of love are incompatible with the conduct of war. It was submitted to Harper’s Bazaar for publication, but on March 22, 1905, the magazine rejected the story as “not quite suited to a woman’s magazine.” Eight days later, Twain wrote to his friend Daniel Carter Beard, to whom he had read the story, “I don’t think the prayer will be published in my time. None but the dead are permitted to tell the truth.” Because he had an exclusive contract with Harper & Brothers, Twain could not publish The War Prayer elsewhere; it remained unpublished until 1923. It was republished as campaigning material by Vietnam War protesters

Novels:

The Gilded Age: A Tale of Today (1873)[N 1]
The Adventures of Tom Sawyer (1876)
The Prince and the Pauper (1881)
Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (1884)
A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court (1889)
The American Claimant (1892)
Pudd’nhead Wilson (1894)
Tom Sawyer Abroad (1894)
Personal Recollections of Joan of Arc (1896)
Tom Sawyer, Detective (1896)
A Double Barrelled Detective Story (1902)
A Horse’s Tale (1907)
The Mysterious Stranger (1916, posthumous)

Angry Again

“The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little”. Mark Twain

“Man was made at the end of the week’s work, when God was tired”. Mark Twain

“There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce”. Mark Twain

“The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner”. Mark Twain

“When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear”. Mark Twain

The Kindness of Strangers

“Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see”. Mark Twain

Twain’s frankest views on religion appeared in his final work Autobiography of Mark Twain, the publication of which started in November 2010, 100 years after his death. In it, he said: There is one notable thing about our Christianity: bad, bloody, merciless, money-grabbing, and predatory as it is—in our country particularly and in all other Christian countries in a somewhat modified degree—it is still a hundred times better than the Christianity of the Bible, with its prodigious crime—the invention of Hell. Measured by our Christianity of to-day, bad as it is, hypocritical as it is, empty and hollow as it is, neither the Deity nor his Son is a Christian, nor qualified for that moderately high place. Ours is a terrible religion. The fleets of the world could swim in spacious comfort in the innocent blood it has spilled.

“Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved”. Mark Twain

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